we're chasing vodka with high fives
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
