This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Two words: blizzard sex
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
