Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
