remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
50% drunk capacity currently
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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