I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
