I CAN MOONWALK!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
