That's intense
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
