Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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