She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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