And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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