is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
