K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize