My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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