i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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