Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
