ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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