Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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