i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize