hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
