Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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