Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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