My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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