I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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