Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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