Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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