guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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