Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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