i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
