Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
