it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
