Swine flu. Run for my life!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
