i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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