you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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