how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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