Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
