I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
