just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
