she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
