I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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