I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
