We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
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