Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize
