I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
