You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
