So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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