I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
do nipples grow back?
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