I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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