He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
