Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize