Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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