I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
