New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
