sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
