I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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