Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
