There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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