Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
