Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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