If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
