i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Randomize
