it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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