now i know why i became what i already was.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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