Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i may or may not be watching the land before time
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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