Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
