If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
